It would be nice if we could resolve all family conflicts in a few simple steps. But in real families, some conflicts are not easy to resolve. Serious problems with dangerous or violent situations require professional help and an approach that leads to an immediate result. But most unresolved family conflicts are a normal part of life with other people, even though they may feel like a threatening storm that continues to build in strength and intensity. This solution is based on the observation that many of our conflicts with people we know well are based on repeated patterns that we unknowingly immortalize. We can try to react proactively to react in a way that resolves the conflict every time (although we are honest, many of us focus more on “winning” the argument rather than on resolving or resolving the conflict, and there is often a difference). That answer could actually be used to maintain things as they were in the past, which may not be what we want. As parents of teenagers, we are in uncharted territory. Things that used to work didn`t work anymore. Our teens try to manage their daily lives while they manipulate ascending hormones, develop their independence and discover who they are. All of this can push them across borders and challenge the rules. We need to adapt our reactions and attitudes as our teens undergo such profound changes in life.
This is the most difficult step in managing persistent family conflicts. You have to start the process of pardoning the other and choosing to go beyond what you cannot solve. Focusing on the relationship is a much better investment. In fact, there is a chance that, while the battle is about a particular subject, there is actually something that is at a deeper level. What is it? Get clarity, and you`ll be able to get different options on how you can get what you really want. How many times have you had an experience where you knew you could see your family and predict in advance what boring or frustrating interactions you might have with some members of your family, and things went exactly as you hoped? Have you ever wanted you to have a remote control for people, complete with pause, rewind and mute switch buttons? You can`t control other people`s actions, but you can control your reaction to their actions, which can change the whole dynamic and create more positive interactions.